**Disclaimer: Only those who partake in herbal appreciation will understand this, although it is to explain my specific motivations for smoking. Regardless, if you don't you're probably judging me anyway (cause that's what non-smokers do...or at least how all smokers feel about non-smokers)..it's ok though, soon enough I'll be too far away too care...
Why do you smile, laugh, cry, pretend, celebrate, rejoice, mourn...
Why do you drink, or eat pounds of lard when you're going through that break up from the pits of hell...or when you're celebrating...on any occasion?
Exactly see,
Naturally, I don't like being told that I can't
And it feels good
Because it's a great motivator to stay hydrated and healthy and drink plenty of water
It so casually fulfills my desires to be anti-social
The smoke patterns, especially if the light hits them at just the right angle, look pretty effin gnarly
Music tastes better
And food feels better
If I can light up with you...especially a clip, we just got through stage 1 of breaking down awkward social barriers
At times I want to live in dreams and other times I don't want to remember my dreams...
Why, why do you care so much about...nothing at all?
Other times I engage in self-loathing and it helps me forgive myself
Doing my makeup and rolling blunts turns into arts & crafts...and who doesn't like arts & crafts
I blame the spirits of suburban graveyards and the chaos of concrete jungles
Oh, I blame NY too.
You ever get this one..."What are you running away from?"
Why do you gaze ever so curiously at yourself only to realize you're not who or where you want to be?
It smells like...love.
And in its lack I have a tendency to forget to eat
No one ever committed a violent crime for being too stoned
It's a justifiable reason to laugh more
Bonding over a bowl is a far more intimate experience than bonding over a drink
My creative genius unwinds a bit once the smoke settles
It doesn't talk back
Sometimes I need an energy boost and sometimes I need to go to sleep
And it's way cheaper than a therapist
It's an aphrodisiac...obviously
Sometimes I like myself more that way
I'm probably more productive than a good chunk of the population on my third j
Dancing ...on every level
And after a while the incessant chattering, correction, bickering, of my internal monologue aka my super-conscious, conscious & sub-conscious aka my multiple personalities that I give other fancy titles to not sound like a lunatic, well, they, after a while, they start driving my main personality so mad that I'm not even completely sure which one was the main one to begin with. The weed in turn helps me help you to identify the main me...or at least the one I let you see.
Breathing makes more sense
I'll never feel understood...that's another reason
I'm fond of Mary more than I am most people
Because my insecurities don't ever seem to let me forget who they are...or their stare, point, and cackle.
It feels freakin amazing when you're stretching
I like feeling like I'm not...
Everyone enjoys a good ol' ritualistic oral fixation
So funny, cause I don't even like smoking that much, and I really don't NEED it.
I want it. And I like wanting it.
I don't mind forgetting certain things
You ever feel like everything would just be better in slow-motion?
Sex and showers and even sex in showers penetrate in a tantric kind of way
It's a better alternative than heroin, alcohol, pills, whippets, crack, meth...oh yeah, and cigarettes.
I'm 25, technically with "arthritis" and psychologically knowing that if I was in Cali I'd be good to go with a med card makes me feel as if I'm disenfranchising myself if I didn't
My moms is pretty cool with it
And also due to my moms...from a situational point of view
Family and those people that 'affect you'...it's cause of them too
My crazy is regulated and can be passed off as being quirky and/or 'high'
It makes me lose recollection of...and often remember you, you, and you
And as much as I think I know, I just really don't
Due to days like this
When you've answered the why's, then maybe you'll understand why I do so...and please do let me know. Cause despite our arrival here, I'm still not quite sure myself.
(c) - 2011 Jessica Freites
