Saturday, January 30, 2010
You ever feel like your phone is like the creature in Alien, but instead of it trying to escape by ripping and shredding out of your womb in a violent struggle it's doing the reverse and passively aggressively attaching itself to your brain to then slowly spread and embed itself into your cellular composition?
Friday, January 29, 2010
Via Facebook Message (more appropriate for a Myspace bulletin, once upon a time)
This is fun to do. Just read the 'offense' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it.
Smoked weed -- $10
Did acid or pills -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Cross dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive and drank -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in public -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex --$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars-- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Pissed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25
Tally it up and put it on ur status as: "My Fine Is..." (nothing else) then repost
- This is the shit that enters my mind sporadically and on occasion follows no linear train of thought...well at least to you it won't.
- Don't expect me to update this ish on a daily basis. I WORK! you lazy shhhhmuck...plus like I said it's sporadic, and so are my "blogging moods"...whatever the hell those are.
- If you're entertained...GREAT!!!, if you're offended...stop being a cunt, and if you're inspired... I <3 you for <3'ing me.
- If you like what you see...spread the mo-fo word gawwwdbody!!!!...you know, like the hip hoppers say. "Tell a friend to tell a friend biiiiiitch"
- Oh and while you're wasting your life away on this here spaceship box, check out the otherrrr site I write for :) www.Frank151.com ...after you're done with that go get some fresh air.
Let the random shit storm start it's flooding!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The beauty of death...
And the rebirth of light...
I like to consider myself an Urban Non-Mad Nomad, Gypsy Gone...Right, Administrative Hustla, Life Experience Pack Rat doing my study abroad backpackin' across...NY.
(PEEP THE DUO, it'll make more sense -----> #1 & #2)
But baaaaasically, within a 5 month period I've rested my head in around 19 places, moved 3 times, "resided" in 4 boroughs, 5 cities & 2 countries (U.S. included), had 5 health problems spring up...& progressively heal up, been on 4 different meds, had 10 doctor appointments within 2 months, applied to around 90+ jobs (dead ass...counted the emails), had 17 job interviews, 7 for 1 position in particular, worked 2 temp jobs, 2 side jobs, 2 perm jobs, discovered and been reunited with with 13 family members residing in 5 different cities, lost "friends", gained more than friends and maintained ENOUGH sanity to write about it....EL...OH...LOL.
Just in case you forgot...
this goes out to alllll the lovely gents out there...
NYC is a haven of compassion...
approached and flipped
into a battle of wits
with hidden agenda tricks full of covert operations and tactics
where the transitional final product is the immaculate gift
of the conception of one's
The trife life, basked in nebular limelights
where the enemy can't come to phase you since they're only dwellin' in
the 2nd dimension,
missed the last ride on the express time continuum
bobbin' n' weavin'
bobbbbbin' n' weavin'
bobbin' n' weaaaaavin'
Constantly attacking your voice of reason
and then you could end up like me and...
Smiling and breathing and moving and healing
Keeping the faith and embracing your inner heathen
Collecting the the day in your memory banks
Psalms sung by sparrows and freedom chants
Navigatin' odyssies next door
Comforter sessions on the spaceship floor
Loathing mediocrity whores
This is the LIFE...
Please read the fine print...
Sure, why not.
El Crew and life inspiration.
DC babies for the Nu Jear.
On that note...GUBBBBNA!!!
Back to NY...New Year, new job, new crib, writing for THESE CATS , & a good amount of this...
Who knows, maybe I'll write more now that life is finding itself to be more stable these days...or, not. I'll just let the weird life shit keep doing what it does. So far so good.
Oh yeah...I want one.
P.S. Today my boy gave me a taser...yay!
- © 2010 by Jessica Freites