Wednesday, September 14, 2011

WORD!


Written August 9th, 2008

WORD!...


Poetical pistols pop off poisonous penetrative projectiles
that propel
profound proverbs and
pronounce pledges and prose
all perfectly off my palette
feeding pumping, injecting and numbing
yo' mind with nutritional paraphernalia
like a potent pick of some pristine and powerful puff of purple haze piff
that with every hit
makes you say
GOD DAAAAAAAAMN THIS IS SOME GOOOOOOD SHIIIT!!!

See, I'm a poet, a word connoisseur of sorts
a reporter and fragment contorter
And to write is my vice, plight, utter delight
and sure as hell
MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT!
My words at times may or may not rhyme
they may or may not ring nor chime
And you ask yourself why?...
Because they're passionate
like fists that want to kiss and reminisce
with your brain
to BUST knowledge into your domepiece
like BOOOOOM!!
with the force of a premie grasping onto the me m o r y...
of their mother's womb
or for most
grasping onto the fear of burying
their mental tombs

Emotionally impaled by the vibrations of
prefix and suffix fix-ations
to fix
my ailments
from the attack of complacent non-stimulations
which bombard us on every
TV Station, Radio Station, Train Station
to keep us all, well
station-ary
as opposed to spawning prose
written in the mental codes of visionaries

But before I unleash the spoken word shank
and vernacular attack
on your fiending and yearning for stimuli crack
and expansionary learning

Pppppppppause.
STOP
and play back the track
rearrange the jazzy free flow over the hard
boooom boooom boooom BAP!
and take a peak behind the mask

Cause I have a secret, you see,
my continual affair with a word, fragment or phrase
to my narcissistic dismay
is primarily need based
Since my psyche tends to get the best of me
and I've been neglecting her for a while now
So I'm being stalked and harassed by nervous
break...
d
o
w
n
s
which has led me to prowl in therapeutic sessioning
that results in no diagnosis and
only the verbal verdict of wordplay sentencing


And well,
I am merely parts of many
a life experience, cultivator, harvester and pack rat
articulating the pack of traps
that abruptly catch, pinch and grasp us
by our sensory follicles
resuscitating our visions
by passionately spitten'
pure liv-id liquids
into the cesspool of third-eye imprisonments
through this audible monocle
Otherwise known as my therapeutic chronicle

But I'm sure you all understand
because for the most part you're here
listening to me, a poet
sit up here and spit
letting every saliva droplet
to drop it
on the ones and twos
and back to the one
solely to son you
with my verbal voodoo
and thank you for making a societal misfits
words fit
because to fit in with the rest of the world's life context
would be
SOME REAL WACK SHIIIIIIIIT!!

...WORD



(©) 2008 by Jessica Freites 

This Is the Life...


Throwback mini-gem...lol.

The path of living is on some dope skitzo shit
approached and flipped
into a battle of wits
with hidden agenda tricks full of covert operations and tactics
where the transitional final product is the immaculate gift
of the conception of one's

...LIFE

The trife life, basked in nebular limelights
where the enemy can't come to phase you since they're only dwellin' in
the 2nd dimension,
n'
missed the last ride on the express time continuum

bobbin' n' weavin'
bobbbbbin' n' weavin'
bobbin' n' weaaaaavin'

tetanus infected
jagged wrenches
Constantly attacking your voice of reason
and then you could end up like me and...

Smiling and breathing and moving and healing
Keeping the faith and embracing your inner heathen

Collecting the the day in your memory banks
Psalms sung by sparrows and freedom chants

Navigatin' odyssies next door
Comforter sessions on the spaceship floor

Loathing mediocrity whores
Embracing simplicity...and escaping the bored

This is the LIFE...



(©) 2010 by Jessica Freites 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Hemp Q&A

**Disclaimer: Only those who partake in herbal appreciation will understand this, although it is to explain my specific motivations for smoking. Regardless, if you don't you're probably judging me anyway (cause that's what non-smokers do...or at least how all smokers feel about non-smokers)..it's ok though, soon enough I'll be too far away too care...

Why do you smile, laugh, cry, pretend, celebrate, rejoice, mourn...

Why do you drink, or eat pounds of lard when you're going through that break up from the pits of hell...or when you're celebrating...on any occasion?

Exactly see,

Naturally, I don't like being told that I can't

And it feels good

Because it's a great motivator to stay hydrated and healthy and drink plenty of water

It so casually fulfills my desires to be anti-social

The smoke patterns, especially if the light hits them at just the right angle, look pretty effin gnarly

Music tastes better

And food feels better

If I can light up with you...especially a clip, we just got through stage 1 of breaking down awkward social barriers

At times I want to live in dreams and other times I don't want to remember my dreams...

Why, why do you care so much about...nothing at all?

Other times I engage in self-loathing and it helps me forgive myself

Doing my makeup and rolling blunts turns into arts & crafts...and who doesn't like arts & crafts

I blame the spirits of suburban graveyards and the chaos of concrete jungles

Oh, I blame NY too.

You ever get this one..."What are you running away from?"

Why do you gaze ever so curiously at yourself only to realize you're not who or where you want to be?

It smells like...love.

And in its lack I have a tendency to forget to eat

No one ever committed a violent crime for being too stoned

It's a justifiable reason to laugh more

Bonding over a bowl is a far more intimate experience than bonding over a drink

My creative genius unwinds a bit once the smoke settles

It doesn't talk back

Sometimes I need an energy boost and sometimes I need to go to sleep

And it's way cheaper than a therapist

It's an aphrodisiac...obviously

Sometimes I like myself more that way

I'm probably more productive than a good chunk of the population on my third j

Dancing ...on every level

And after a while the incessant chattering, correction, bickering, of my internal monologue aka my super-conscious, conscious & sub-conscious aka my multiple personalities that I give other fancy titles to not sound like a lunatic, well, they, after a while, they start driving my main personality so mad that I'm not even completely sure which one was the main one to begin with. The weed in turn helps me help you to identify the main me...or at least the one I let you see.

Breathing makes more sense

I'll never feel understood...that's another reason

I'm fond of Mary more than I am most people

Because my insecurities don't ever seem to let me forget who they are...or their stare, point, and cackle.

It feels freakin amazing when you're stretching

I like feeling like I'm not...

Everyone enjoys a good ol' ritualistic oral fixation

So funny, cause I don't even like smoking that much, and I really don't NEED it.

I want it. And I like wanting it.

I don't mind forgetting certain things

You ever feel like everything would just be better in slow-motion?

Sex and showers and even sex in showers penetrate in a tantric kind of way

It's a better alternative than heroin, alcohol, pills, whippets, crack, meth...oh yeah, and cigarettes.

I'm 25, technically with "arthritis" and psychologically knowing that if I was in Cali I'd be good to go with a med card makes me feel as if I'm disenfranchising myself if I didn't

My moms is pretty cool with it

And also due to my moms...from a situational point of view

Family and those people that 'affect you'...it's cause of them too

My crazy is regulated and can be passed off as being quirky and/or 'high'

It makes me lose recollection of...and often remember you, you, and you

And as much as I think I know, I just really don't

Due to days like this

When you've answered the why's, then maybe you'll understand why I do so...and please do let me know. Cause despite our arrival here, I'm still not quite sure myself.


(c) - 2011 Jessica Freites

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Marrying Type

is a mess
an inner eccentric mess

The love of my life will be a madman of sorts....i met him...too bad he's damn near charging forth the gateways of insanity.

Living for PASSION! is going to be the death of me...oh well, death is guaranteed regardless.

Sex on skyscraper rooftops...love in the crevices of valleys of darkness. is one of my various meanings of life...all 'meanings' vary depending upon the time of day and day of the week though, naturally.

Now. Generally speaking, the sentiment and the scent of him are moreso more missed than the actual specimen of him...that usually goes for all of you, too.

vulgar...and soft...pull my hair..and gently press your lips on my cheek.

Not the relationship type...but soulmates for specific occasions are in high standing.

cold, often unfeeling, way too entirely giving and a hopeless romantic that falls face first in l - o -...infatuation.

Expert dater...horrified by dating...a great girlfriend...and refuses to acknowledge the concept of marrying...

i like boys I shouldn't...and could care less about the men i should.

At some point...i'll probably hate almost everything about him...but at least he'll stand out in a crowd...

There's something about the madness of it all...that makes me feel perfectly at ease. Boredom...is insanity.

shy...and aggressive. know what i hate, and have no idea what i want.

At what point does any of it ever really make sense?...i guess when posed in different lights reflecting off different mirrors in different rooms...of my mind.

don't even know if i want to be in love...just want to think i am.

Around once a week i come to the conclusion that i'm bi-polar..suffering from depression every other month...and overwhelmed with joy and blessings every 2-4 days.

A good eye fuck will increase your chances of me actually wanting to speak to you.

for me, letting go is as easy as pi or pie...varies in degree.

He needs to relish in book stores...and most likely has a criminal record...that he's not ashamed of. Hopefully it's for a non-violent crime.

frivolously attracted to most...could care about less...and in turn, not particularly inclined to any.

The art of objectifying men...occurs in my world.

not a bad person though...

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Temporary Thoughts...


Too much to say...and not a word in sight...
I'm not even sure what to write...I just need to get THIS...
this all oppressing, mental bulldozer of bitter truths cloaked in spite
out. of. me.

See, matters of the heart are no matter at all...
until you're entrapped in one
until the avalanche breaks into bloodthirsty shards
promising the deepest of scars
pummeled by depth of the fall...and now we're buried in the trenches of the situation...

I mean, I'm serious...
at this point
the tear isn't worth the touch
I have no idea what the hell I'm saying, or what I'm doing here, I just know...it's far too much,
Too much nonsensical fuss, too much regret for the both of us,
for what???...
I guess I did it cause
I'm an idealist
I loved the idea of us
crashing tides of idea lusts
but nonetheless
it's
too much of 'this' one day, 'that' the next,
confusion of truths and personality contexts,
This is just far, far too complex
How can one expect in my current state of mental content to process, digest and spit back out words into the atmospheric vortex
in hopes of attempts at making the most subtle bit of...
sense

**deep breathes**

My sheets still smell of his scent...
I digress...

You CAN'T be melting into numbness...freezing by a hint of touch
...the rhythm of your vibrations warms the breath of life too much,
I wanted to lose myself in your tones, be your melody...
our song could sing to the strings of my touch
Layers of paint, still damp, still encrusted on the tattered brush
to shelter the moments sketched in the crevices of a home built out of rush...
The home I once lived in, a mosaic of hopes collisioned...
Painted projections of a blind fool's vision
Beams of clarity now blurred to a dim
Trust and passion turned illusions of lust and infatuation,
and now all of those things,
no longer within...
no longer intend...
to keep you any longer...
not even as a friend...
The energy you curse me with is of a cold violent wind...
and even an embrace freezes and pains the skin,
Chipping away, Peeling away, Shattering away, Shutting away...
all light of day...
turned icicle rays...
reflecting nothing more than memories in vain...

Diving headfirst down a desolate drain
Nothing more than a black hole dining on my whole,
a puncture wound found at every pressure point of the soul,
jagged holes bleeding stained letters which once had told
a truth that would hold
its index finger down for sometime on rewind, others fast forward, pause and play
generating enough mental foreplay
to keep a silly little girl trained to engage
in a marriage of false promises and smiles of dismay

I do try and leave...
but I can't because your shadow keeps haunting me...
dreams soaked in sedatives of memory...
Forgetting that forgetting will remedy
the damaged molecules of our chemistry
a force to enforce the strength of being this weak...
I know this feeling goes away,
I know its temporary...
but why does it feel so permanently engraved
across the left side of my heart...where our heartbeats intertwined into a braid
fabric woven rhythmically composin' all the minutes of the day...

Wandering into a shadow's trance
I light kerosene lamps
to find daddy issue plagued tramps
begging for self-esteem amps
to be amp-lified
Just so they can be heard by a heart on the outside
Just so they can silently cry
tears that scream only when hidden
Just so they can be seen for the woman within,
not solely recognized in a mask and robe of harlequin skin

But just know, despite
the fact that
I may not ever be 'the one'
the one you see as your wife
I will be the one
the one that solidifies
that you never are really quite right in attempts at loving again
in this life...



- © 2010 by Jessica Freites

Monday, November 22, 2010

Ban on B.A.N. (Bitch Ass Nikkuhs)

This one goes out to all the fellas who are infected by the bitchass nikkuh disease. Thank you for all the gents that love to run your mouths and the nice young man on the train who seemed to be extraaa shiny for inspiring this...along with all the other faggatrons disguised as men that seem to be running rampant in these times...smh.



Gents, it seems that bitchassdedness has become an epidemic
Please stop frontin like you're the owner of a brand new pair of vaginal lips
afraid to approach a female who can outsmart you in a battle of wits
afraid to put pride aside...
afraid to admit...
let alone ever understanding how to initiate a conversation with a clit...
Are you seriously crying on the internet???...that's not even deemable to be called a tiff
You really should take boxing lessons
cause a mouth that loose calls for a busted lip
No, but really, you got beef on the web??...
Go thump in the street and get your teeth knocked out instead
Now maybe you won't talk so much...get a full time job
exercisin' those gums and jaw
slobbin up some nob
while rockin ya bitches a-cup braw
You...Batman?....helllll nah
Not even Robin,
cause even with your effeminate desires of pressin' up on 'bad' guys with that tightass suit on your skin...
your 'nots' must be tucked...or be a small fit
since they stillllll ain't poppin'
So yes, men, afraid of your own semen,
please go to a gay club with all those unnecessary excuses to act so damn feminine...


Apologies in advance to the 'straight' men who secretly are less suited to strut and more to prance
You know you're an STD dumpster slut…stop worrying about her past
We know what's up...
you got leprechaun meets infant meets midget hands...
Stop braggin' about how many bitches you got tryin' to get in your pants...
be more concerned with a need to socially advance
and knowing how to hold down an income, a home, and a mindfulness of future plans
a desire to truly know yourself...understand
Shit, you're 30 and live at home with your momma
TRUST...you are NOT THE MAN
Actually, with the amount of time you spend in the mirror
I'm surprised you don't practice a Zoolander glance
and that little 2-step dance...
so you can make sure you got your angle right and get on your
"I'm a peacock, please, please, pleaaaaase other dudes in the club, please notice me"
stance...


Your fear of self and emotional acknowledgment
is just a pathetic excuse to inflict,
words rooted in insecure rhetoric
I mean really, so quick to diss, so quick to knit pick
Is this all just a mask to hide your man boobs turned double d tits??
She's too intimidating, she'll break your heart??
Stop using that lame ass excuse to always be the one to inflict the scars...


You fuck with hoes, chickenheads ad grimey bitches,
but technically,
you're their penile equivalent
Silly bird, you're a dude more insecure with mommy issues
than a 15 year old pregnant chick
who dreams of trickin' for a livin'
Someone in your past hurt you so it justifies your current state of being a prick...
I'm tired of the excuses...
Get the fuck over it.
Oh, and while you're at it, you might wanna spit
but be careful before you get his cum stains on your girl's brand new carpet, since she'll surely trip
And while you're at it
Get some lotion on those knees so the rug burn doesn't stick


Men, no emotion?
They don't voice their feelings?
They don't have time to understand love and devotion?
You're in a delusion
grow up and move past it, understand that you're human
Now you might be able to truly materialize your vision
Once you accept that, you'll be more than a man
Until then I have no patience for your over-hyped self-perceptions...
and needs to wallow in sado-masochistic rituals
of female deprecia-tion


She thinks differently, that's a problem??
She's too outspoken??...c'mon son
Your penis is shrinking and your balls are gonna be too small to dot the question mark that is
your constant erectile dysfunction
And of course I can demoralize your image by attacking your phallic self-obsession
Your self-esteem is frail
Forget about the fact that intellectually
your softer than a baby's bottom


Gossip, talk shit, we fucked??...
That's funny considering we've never even hung out, hugged or touched...
let alone kiss...
anyway, I understand...
We could never in real life cause you're probably too paranoid about having a little dick complex
Please, I know you truly wish that you could imaginatively enhance the girth of your 'magic stick'...
Hold up...
Exactly...
It's magic...poof, where'd it go…What happened to it??
So with that, seriously, although I know you're envious,
back the fuck off....
and reeeeeally, hop off myyyyyy dick.



- © 2010 by Jessica Freites

Friday, November 5, 2010

Love and Light...


Love and Light...

unconditionally bright, despite pitfall plights lurking in the most silent darkness of nights, alone, you stand and grow to exponential heights, towering over gray clouds that hover tears overlooking the moon, rising over redwoods and beanstalks in bloom, all with the intention of a child in womb...all with the ascension of rapture spawned out of doom...in the hours where the right and the wrong seem to dance along to a song that's nothing more then penned tragedies, blessings forgone, this ballad is nothing more than a madness psalm, a song sung by madmen, for ages unknown and you're ready to retire as lead in this tune...but all is really more than right because you're still in it, still in the fight, round 12 has approached and your opponent is withered of pride, the swiftness of his strength no longer has you mesmerized, you've managed somehow to hollow the evils inside, his black breath is weak, in dying whispers it begs for reprise, his left hook is shot, his right couldn't make even an infant cry, as he is consumed by the light, he falls to his knees, battered blood pools vanish into nothing more than dust, 'victory' is painted along the tattered canvas, bearing reproach on past visions, obstructions in sight, your opponent was no opponent at all just a mindful eye, a spectator, to witness the winning match of I against I.



- © 2010 by Jessica Freites